Not unlike the sun

Fallen, not unlike the sun

As constant as the moon

Overnight, to be born anew

The dawn of a new day

Same faces and new pain

It was foolish to assume we'd live forever

There is eternity in our dying breath

Time is a flame, we the embers

I've lived and loved,

and all i've learned

We can only promise to burn.

Bereave me

Has the cruelness of the world left an impression?

I wished you were stronger

To share the sun and moon,

I hoped one day we'd wait no longer

Hand in hand, into dark tunnels

To follow our own light

And never wander.

Diminishing intervals

When will it end? Where do i begin?

What do you see, beneath the mounds of flesh

Where a soul and heart should be

Who will grasp them both?

And who will be the first to let go

Will it be you? Will it be me?

If time will tell, would you care to listen?

A deaf ear, a cold shoulder

The gift of a broken heart is whose burden?

Enslaved to fabled souls aligned

Disintegrate with me,

I've prophesized this forging of souls.

May the wind carry your voice, like a carcass into it's hearse.

Soul ascending into the mind, and body descending to dirt.

Memories,

Buried beneath anxious soil soon unearth.

Carry on, i know

I must.

To lose my mind, in a single touch.

To feel and dream, all at once.

Some say time will take us all, let us answer to it's call.

As we sift through this ocean of dreams, seperating motion from thought

Giving in to the deepest temptations, to taste undeniable truth

What dwells deep within us,

Will slowly but surely be exhumed.

Although enslaved, we are not alone.

I will show you the comfort in the unknown.

Virga

Praying for lightning to strike upon me,

And may the skies oblige.

For it has been a thousand days since I've last repent,

Mother Nature, I beg for a miracle of sheer coincidence.

The question remains,

Why?

But I dare not deny,

That through reflections in the pavement,

Irrelevence, is sure to be seen.

How I'd be honored to give it reason!

If in fact, the heavens weep.

Lińga Śarīra

To find a relation in the astral plane.

Gazing, deciding which boundless dimensions to capacitate.

How much sooner until this shatters?

Relevant or not,

I am self-proclaimed,

Eager to be reborn through fragmented remains.

Pessimistress

The flawlessness of it's imperfection,

And the welcoming comfort of it's eyes.

I sincerely wish that i could stay forever,

But what is misfortune without it's goodbye?

So farewell to all at once,

I wish i knew the reasons why,

This never made any sense at all.

I've found myself atleast a thousand times.

How many more?

How many times can one possibly ascend?

I wish to surpass this life,

To venture beyond what we call the end.

I will be the knowledge, the wisdom, the descent of existence.

A reflection? Splitting image?

Such a canorous attempt,

To regain quintessence.

What was & will never be again.

Oh, to rejoice in irrelevence.

Not I

The design of misconstruction,

A longing collapse.

Sculpt a new beginning,

With this mold of sheer cowardice.

How strong is the will of a weakened soul?

How far back are you willing to hold yourself?

Watch it all pass

Idle, until even your surroundings stop.

Focus, lost again

But who's to say, that a dormant mind in denial is damned?

Not I.

Certainly the lost will be found,

As soon as the search begins.

Folie à Un

Delusion, i call upon you once again

I've starved my mind of slumber, although i must also confess;

My sanity and subconcious, i offer to you my dearest, most trustworthy friend.

Madness most pure and in physical form

Surpassing the end of this earth.

To bestow such a blessing encased in flesh,

Through insomniatic resurrection, rebirth.

Seize not, this crown of my cephalon

I've conquered these thoughts,

That have long dwelled in this proverbial chamber

Perpetually on.

For Lack of A Better World

How is it that it seems to me

That this embodies everything,

Enraptured to perfection?

I feel no need to decipher,

I have no intention of justifying my insanity.

Yes, when the time comes for all of this to end,

It's rather certain to manifest itself again.

So put an end to evasiveness, learn to communicate.

I couldn't possibly begin to describe this significance,

Let alone, refrain.

The harmony of script through thought.

Mystery, cryptic dreams, revealing the foundations of life.

Endlessly intriguing, your thirst for the knowledge of all things.

A lifetime of discovery.

To define the divine, one must survive it's fatal glare.

Nostalgia, euphoria, a synonymal fear.

I revel in contradiction, a slave to impossibility.

Prove me wrong.

Maybe i wasn’t

I was embarrassed that she had even caught a glimpse

as i tucked my writing book

back under my seat

she said, softly

"I find words so intriguing when they've been crossed out, or scribbled over."

"Its practically symbolic."

"Hmph, well i can hardly read my own writing anyway" i replied

"So it all looks likes scribbles if you ask me."

which was, half true

music played

and i drew (terribly) upon her right wrist

(as her words echoed strangely through my head)

in retrospect

perfect excuse to hold her hand

she sang out-loud

as if i wasn't even there

maybe i wasn't

aside from being hopelessly enamored

i don't remember much more

from that night

but fully reclined, staring

past the freeways

over the city

and into the midnight horizon

i never wanted to be crossed out so badly

or scribbled over

Return to desolation

And here we are, back to where we swore

We'd never be again

Inevitable it seemed

Where am i?

Where have i been this whole time?

Unfair, unreasonable, untrue

What is left?

Nausea, welcome home

Fill this void

Was this ever even whole?

Can i disappear?

Was i ever even here?

This can't be real

You feel you have nothing

And have made it a reality

Unbelievable

Desperation

A return to desolation

Here we are, back to where we swore

We'd never be again.

Crown aside

And at the peak of my devastation

I decided that isolation was rational enough

Satisfied for now,

I can only sink deeper, i know

I've set my crown aside

To witness the calamity ensue without me.

Dear Dymphna,

She says, she cries

just to feel young again

And that it's awfully difficult to live

without a worry in the world

Well, if that's not a reason, within itself

then i don't know what is.

Winter is ours

"Until we meet again."

But tonight, if i dream

I'll see you sooner than i think.

Since the beginning

Since you've possessed me

Nights have never been so reoccuring.

How much longer

We sat in the dark as i caught a glimpse

Thanks to passing cars

The eyes, that dwarfed the sun

And outshined the stars.

I may never understand

Or accept this distance

I can try, harder to lie to myself

But i'd rather reminisce.

Delicate hands, entwining fingertips

Inhale the promise that escapes your lips

The youth that lingers, in just the touch of your fingers.

We shiver, but

Perhaps it's best to continue, running

From the perfection at hand.

My apologies

Dormant, i stare off into nothingness

Here i go again, forgetting to breathe

My apologies

"May we sleep one last time?"

Only if you promise to never open your eyes.

"Will you dream of me then?"

As i always have.

Idle, yet descending

Seasons change & i remain

As if a stain upon the glass you now refuse to see through.

Purity, the sky from a distance

Let hope be the air we breathe

Systematically.

Purity is the sky from a distance

Here i go again, suffocating

My apologies.

Source

I've lived to witness the rise of many suns

As much as i do despise, i wish to understand

Perhaps grasp, just a single hint to the purpose of this.

And the moon never really goes away

What reason does it have to hide?

A saint, lunar light

Alive in the dead of night.

To some, the end is always near

Life will never be as instantaneous

What we cannot begin to comprehend, we're sooner to fear.

Every day, a masquerade for strangers to truth.

The treasures of youth are never what we've come to desire.

The moment we become the ink upon the paper of life

Turn the page,

Turn the page.

Those before me

Why must we adjust to such things?

Designed to adapt, accept, forget, repeat.

Well i refuse to carry on.

You turned around and ran away

So if i do the same, we're destined

To cross paths again, some day.

What have i yet to learn?

Distress and wonder, i've mastered well

I practice self-contempt

Only to further distort my curiousity in the end.

Why must we always question what we already know to be true?

Darkness bears no shadow.

Total dehiscence

This is the mirror that does not reflect

The horizon, as far as you cannot see.

Always in question, your ability to strive

The blade, as deep as your will to survive.

So come closer, i'm here to watch you fail

I've waited, since the spawn of your first, single aspiration.

The wound that never healed.

Ante meridiem

The morning sun hits the now empty spot of the bed.

It mocks me, gleaming, constantly, as if it waits to be filled again.

An abyss.

Perhaps, it's longing for a familiar warmth, the need to be complete.

How have i come to have so much in common, with a pillow, blankets and sheet?

Too much vermouth

If i could redeem each one of these dreams

For moments spent together,

The purpose of dreaming would be null and void,

Since you'd be mine forever.

04/04/09

Maybe you didn't hear me right the first time

When i swore to never leave

Why is it again that i'm left behind

Call yourself insane

Well aren't we all.

Have you forgotten the lunatic

Whose arms remain open while you fall?

Sooner to lose my head, than my mind

Why are the things that are in plain sight, always the hardest to find?

My search will never end

Return to yourself, let me know when

To break this promise that i've made

To never love again.

Ill repute

My words are frivolous.

Perhaps they've always been.

Yet the pen attempts to define you.

I've acquired a taste for such impossibilities, evident in each sentence.

You are swept, heaved away by every awkward verse that has ever escaped my lips, i tighten the stitches.

Otiose, even this, what was just written.

I persist.

Does love not exist?

I often wondered. Although it helped to know,

The best pair in history was always in front of me.

Paper & ink.

Dichotomy ph.1

Not a word from the woman's mouth

Nor a breath, or smile, not a tear

She stood still as he lay, glaring back at her

Transforming what were his final breaths, he spoke in heartfelt verses

Much like the sweet nothings, which he once believed had swept her off her feet

And kept her here for so long

He'd reach out to touch her face one last time, if only he'd the strength

His lifetime, his solace, the existence he'd tried so hard to define

Remained at the mercy of her deafened ears

Dichotomy ph.2

Staring down at this doomed mass of flesh

A look of confusion gradually overtook her perfect face

And as her head tilted

It was as if she wondered, why he had spent so much time

Following her, running, chasing

Fighting to remain beside her

Even now, as he withered, struggling to hold his own smile.

Closing her eyes, a deep breath and

She exhales...

Dichotomy ph.3

She felt obligated to speak, after such a dramatic pause

But only managed to stutter

Before she could open her eyes

She felt the coldness press

against her rosy lips

Eyes and mouth kept shut

through a single frail caress

He had done it again

Saving himself from absolute sympathy.

A deterrence

The walls that once kepy my whispers secret

Now yearn for something more

No longer sustaining my ramblings from pensile sleep

They are no longer the arms around my door

I can see the sky through my window

The clouds seem to be in reach

Despite the dirt & the dust

Between it & me

A calming wind

I close my eyes & inhale the winter's breeze

It's a gift from our mother

Pure & sincere

Before the sun destroys us again, i'd like to smile

I'd like to live in the gentle cold of her embrace.

Overlooked

I almost spoke again today

Until i considered the worth of words

Not just to you, but overall

It's something that i've learned

There is a pain that you will never know

A burden you will never hold

Heaven favors you

I'd wave, i'd say goodbye, if it meant a thing

But it's better to stay still right now

I'm invisible at best

It's me you see right past, it's true

There exists this place that we will never see

That welcomes the people we'll never be

Where pain is seldom known

& the burden is theirs to hold

The envy of heaven waits patiently for you.

Barren soil

Death, omnipresent disease

& you, aligning with oblivion

Take without giving

You dream without sleep

It's drawing closer now

The cold is not only in the air

Found it's home in your chest

Making you whole

Filling the void i was unable to

Eyes of the driest river

The sand & barren soil i once held in my hands

If you only knew

How quickly, through my fingers

The grain slipped through.

A somber upheaval

To hold

To let go

To speak

Now listen

You must know, we are all alone.

Is this a weakness

Or a strength?

All i know, is that it consumes

My will, there is no way

This'll ever last

Longer than we've wished

Today.

Dear void,

The sun asks why i'm still here

And I, with the wave of a pen

Bid farewell

Enough light to write,

Goodbye.

Becoming one with the value of promises

Now do you see the effect of distance?

With the combined efforts of null, things have slowly been slipping away

The will i've kept and the damage well avoided, time will not allow

Nature discovered our way, and cast all purity into it's flame

Fairness nears the void, introducing my insurrection

I, most desolate and damned

Condemned to observation, i watch you

Set aside the only logical resolution

My actions, misinterpreted at best, favor the loss

Disadvantage at my side, i make my move

Misconstrued sentiments, now detrimental

Always the first to be last

I understand what you've showed me

The method, to sacrifice importance

Is most simple when the mind is distorted

Roots of the opus seed

We are but memories

Nothing less, nothing more

Forever in the midst of life & death

In fear we fight for power, never settle the score

A constant stir of anguish

We savor what seems to be of worth

Yes, at the time

& until it's end, only to begin again

Frightened by our own incomprehension, we tend to compensate

With selfish disillusions, soon called personalities

Wage war

Slay, in the name of our only mutuality

(I speak of) Indifference

This single common trait, now a tool

Excusing unity

Defined by curiosity, we are

In our own definition, refined

Claiming absolution

To our own misery

Unmeaning

We never did expect

Gradual decay of the senses

To be the only promise ever kept

Deciduous night

I think the rain fell a bit harder that day

& the wind blew as if it held a grudge against me

This place was always a stranger to snow

Not to say that such cold was never known

Sidewalk puddles reflecting the clouds, blue & white, then finally to gray

Flooded gutters, litter

Rushing like the blood in our veins

Moon of this deciduous night

Watches over it's abandoned kin

They are starved & glistening from limb to limb

Trees, bare & tall

I was the last leaf to fall.

The light

She sleeps to dream of brighter days

What wonders lie behind such somber eyes?

Torments of passion, like fire

Burning every bridge

Satisfaction, the death of desire

Scars from the war that mistakes won

Ashamed, self condemned to wander

Shutting the blinds, shunning the sun

The cold nights mirror her embrace

A lack of warmth or comfort, hope displaced

Her body tells a tale of heartless men, most convinced of their spite

She sleeps to dream of brighter days

But hides from the light

Amidst (the atmosphere of final breaths)

Harvesting souls

We nourish her endless craze

The living and dying, one in the same

The cosmos will weep

Falling stars are a testament

To the loss and the lie of promises kept

A concept derived from every second of life

Our interpretations, as sharp as knives

Floating through the windless heavens

I caught a glimpse of distant misery

& the blind that dwell upon it

Only wishing to be seen.

Diamonds for dirt

Now absent to all once admired,

My prayers for light were answered with fire

I fed the flames only to witness a spark

I wished for darkness and was granted a heart

Our void, the distance defying nature

The waves crashed upon me

And to the sound of your laughter,

I drowned in the ocean that was your eyes

It was the imminent end, to holding my breath

In these depths of towering lies

Who is this person you want to be?

It is so unbecoming

To trade diamonds for dirt,

Once the tables have turned

And they have,

I am no longer the foolish one

June

Where is the one, who knew of love?

The one i once held, and for whom i fell.

With mind constant as seasons

Bloomed promise of treason

Make haste with withering truth

Without desire nor sin, we may not have ever been.

And heart not once broken.

Knell

The fire of our youth

and the flames we fed

Once rivaled the sun

Have you forgotten?

Did you forget?

Brilliant embers

Do you not remember?

How we burned alive?

I recall the taste

Curiosity, it possessed me then

Long before i adjusted

Scorched

Took it for granted

This was just the start

the beginning

To say i do not lament, would be a lie

The fire of our youth

and the flames i feed

Are burning me alive